Tag: Unbelievably batty

Motion by Penny Reid

Motion by Penny ReidMotion by Penny Reid
Series: Laws of Physics #1
Published by Everafter Romance on 12th February 2019
Pages: 200
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one-star

One week.
Home alone.
Girl genius.
Unrepentant slacker.
Big lie.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Mona is a smart girl and figured everything out a long time ago. She had to. She didn’t have a choice. When your parents are uber-celebrities and you graduate from high school at fifteen, finish college at eighteen, and start your PhD program at nineteen, you don’t have time for distractions outside of your foci. Even fun is scheduled. Which is why Abram, her brother’s best friend, is such an irritant.

Abram is a talented guy, a supremely gifted musician, and has absolutely nothing figured out, nor does he seem to care. He does what he feels, when he feels, and—in Mona’s opinion—he makes her feel entirely too much.

Intellectual, estranged-from-family Mona gets a call from her not-close, flamboyant and irresponsible twin who’s in big trouble, to masquerade as her and head back to the family home where some random musician friend of their brother is waiting for her. Needless to say, if the story was based on a premise so ridiculous I couldn’t even take a proper step into believing a part of the establishing scene, getting through the rest was hard.

There’re pages of Mona attempting to behave as flighty as she can as she apes her sister, and as she navigates the murky circumstances that break her ordered, academic life into one of chaos, the real fear is that she’ll break character in front of Abram.

Huh.

Penny Reid’s quirky writing has always been a hit or a miss for me, but ‘Motion’ was long headed towards the ‘miss’ category when there were just too many questions that I couldn’t get properly addressed.

Why on earth was it important for Mona to stay in character? Was pretending to be her twin that much of a life and death matter? That she’d jumped into this venture so unquestioningly just felt rather out of character for the ordered, logical scientist I’d thought she was, and the quick, unwitting slide down into Alice’s Wonderland (or some weird version of a rom-com dealing with dual and/or mistaken identities) make the whole experience too bizarre to shake off.

And while the ton of questions that exist were probably deliberately planted by Reid—this book’s only the first third of the 3-book series after all—, I’m not too sure I can continue following Mona’s path that simply felt purposeless and too absurd to begin with…along with way too many wtf moments that I couldn’t ignore.

Maybe I’ll come back to this one day, when I’m a bit more indulgent and more willing to be taken a few rounds around the merry-go-round. But till then, consider this review and my take on Reid’s book an anomaly.

one-star

Taken by Rebecca Zanetti

Taken by Rebecca ZanettiTaken by Rebecca Zanetti
Series: Deep Ops #1.5
Published by Zebra on 30th April 2019
Pages: 111
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three-stars

Hunter Holt might be the most stubborn ex-soldier ever born, but when he’s called on to help find a lost foster kid, he jumps into action. Even if it means working with the woman who broke his heart five years ago—the woman who still haunts his dreams . . .

Faye Smith has spent five long years trying to get her life back on track. She knows she should’ve turned toward Hunter and not away from him. But they both had too many demons to destroy. Maybe now they’ll get another chance—and save someone else’s life too . . .

But first they’ll have to stop arguing long enough to trust the Deep Ops team. Hunter was a lost boy himself once. In fact, he ran away from the exact same man, their monster of a father. Now he and Faye will have to unite to find the brother he never knew—and maybe each other . . .

As a side-story of Rebecca Zanetti’s Deep Ops series, ‘Taken’ is pretty much a compact standalone as Raider Tanaka’s old friends take the stage in a short, second-chance romance.

In this case however, the brevity of the story probably made me less engaged than I could have been, since this felt as though it could have been a full-length book and had lost so much because it wasn’t. All we know is that Hunter Holt and Faye Smith had once been together; she’d split five years ago and is now back to get him to search for his teenage half-brother he’d never known existed. In fact, I felt as though I’d been missing a big chunk of their backstory—the breakup, the —even though it was sort of told in a few lines what had happened to Faye and Hunter.

Coming back together in the midst of the search, then pledging themselves to each other again after scorching sexy times or talking things through to re-cement their broken bond just seemed too easy, too soon…too coincidental. Would Faye really have searched Hunter back out had it not been for this incident when she’d done nothing for five years? As a result, Faye/Hunter were a pairing that seemed to happen only again because unexpected circumstances forced them back again, rather than a pairing that actively wanted to solve the problems that had first rent them apart while finding their way back to each other again—a rather common occurrence in the second-chance romance trope that typically leaves me feeling scratchy on the inside.

There’s no denying that Zanetti writes pretty well though, but what constantly threw me off were the strange and awkward inserts of humour that broke the intensity of what would have been otherwise an enthralling narrative. In here, it come in the form of out-of-the-blue humour, even odder animal behaviour and weird pick-up lines that bad-ass characters spout, incongruous to what you think they might behave.

In short, ‘Taken’ was pretty much what I thought it would be—no big surprises and not entirely a let-down either but not something I could really get excited about…at least not while Raider’s story is in the making.

three-stars

Dirty by Callie Hart

Dirty by Callie HartDirty by Callie Hart
Series: Dirty Nasty Freaks #1
Published by CreateSpace, Createspace Independent Publishing Platform on March 30th 2018
Pages: 179
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one-half-stars

Face of an angel.Body of a god.And a mouth so dirty he could make the devil blush…

Fix Marcosa’s time can be bought with money, but he isn’t selling sex. Murderers, rapists, criminals: if you’re on the wrong side of Fix’s moral code, you’re in trouble. The kind of trouble that winds up getting you killed. As a hitman for hire, Fix is no stranger to violence. He’s merciless. Relentless. A true savage, down to the roots of his very soul. You can beg. You can plead. You can pray, but it won’t do you any good. Once the tall, dark stranger arrives at your doorstep, it’s already too late to repent.

Sera Lafferty’s no stranger to heartbreak. With an abusive father and a dependant sister, her life has been one of sacrifice and compromise. As soon as she sets eyes on Felix ‘Fix’ Marcosa, she recognizes the darkness in him and makes a vow: she will not get involved. But trapped inside a motel room with the sexiest man to ever walk the earth? Throw in some tequila and the storm to end all storms, and Sera finds herself worshipping at the altar of Marcosa.

She knows she made a mistake.

She knows she needs to run.

But when she witnesses the assassin at work first hand, she knows it’s far too late. Thrown into the back of his sleek black ride, Sera finds herself trapped, and in more way than one. Fix is deadly. He’s demanding, he’s dirty, and he’s determined to claim her for his own.

Like ships passing in the night with some added horizontal tango, Felix Marcosa is en route to his next assignment while Sera is simply trying her best to get to her sister’s wedding. It’s a one-night stand that goes wrong the day after, though it heads in a direction that warranted more side-eyed looks and raised eyebrows than anything else.

Because, for the most of ‘Dirty’, I had quite a hard time suspending disbelief for the most of it…and this is only part 1.

Incongruity is probably the word I’d use to describe the entire reading experience. The New Adult voices sometimes slipped into juvenile banter when I’d expected a weightier consideration of the morality angle or at least, the grey areas of what Fix does—we’re talking about a hitman after all—when most of the talk between Sera and Fix revolved the latter goading the former about sex and how aroused she got…and that’s mildly putting it.

I thought that the similar-sounding voices of both Fix and Sera that should have been more differentiated, to begin with, though the juvenile tinge given the first-person POV and the behaviour that corresponded with it as the pages went on kept making me wonder if we were dealing with characters who hadn’t crossed the twenties-age-bracket. Or at least, there was a certain distasteful, couldn’t-care-less, screw-the-world flippancy in the tone that I thought outstripped what I’d hoped would be a story with a bit more gravity and less insanity in far-fetched twists that made the the entire thing feel somewhat absurd.

Needless to say, this isn’t the book for me at all—chalk it up to unmet reader-expectations.

one-half-stars

Mount Mercy by Helena Newbury

Mount Mercy by Helena NewburyMount Mercy by Helena Newbury
Published by Foster & Black on 30th November 2018
Pages: 368
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two-stars

Doctor Dominic Corrigan. He’s tattooed, cocky and gorgeous, with bullet scars from working in war zones. I’m a geeky surgeon who hides away in the quiet of her operating theater. We couldn’t be more different but from the second we meet, he pursues me...and when I look into those blue eyes, I’m lost. But I know his reputation and I’m determined not to be his next one-night stand. Then disaster strikes our small town...and the two of us become our patients’ only hope.

Suddenly, I’m thrown into the chaos of an ER stretched to breaking point. We need to work together but the closer we get, the harder it is to resist. We’re one look, one touch away from tearing each other’s clothes off. I start to see the pain he hides behind that cocky exterior. What happened to this man, and can I help him break free of his past? And our problems are only just beginning. A criminal gang means to take advantage of the chaos...and the hospital, and everyone I care about, are right in their sights.

‘Mount Mercy’ was something I picked up because the blurb—the promise of romantic suspense in some isolated mountain town—sounded like my sort of thing. Unfortunately, the suspense alone was the only factor that had me powering through when I was tempted to call time on the characters early on.

Corrigan and Amy didn’t stray far from stereotypical protagonists in romantic fiction. Bring in the typical tortured male protagonist who’s lost something/someone and is now actively losing himself in reckless behaviour and a shy, almost-wimpy heroine (whose relationships are few and far between) determined to fix him while he kept saying he needed to keep away from her?

That same old story gets grating.

In addition, their tendency to imagine each other in bed at inappropriate times easily characterised every encounter they had when their paths crossed. In fact, the instant lust—that never really let up—hit me full in the face at their first meeting, where I was treated to a rather cringe-worthy scene of body parts hardening and getting wet in the middle of an life-threatening emergency.

Really? All I could think of as a result, was about the near-flat-lining patient as they argued over him with their mouths while their nether bits made happy, squishy noises.

In fact, Corrigan’s supposed-silver-tinged Irish accent (an oft-repeated word that Newbury likes to use) and a few slight touches from him had Amy stuttering like a dumbstruck teenager so easily, which soon enough translated abruptly into a sexual boldness and freedom that she thought he’d brought out of her.

And all of this came from nothing but surface interactions and hooded looks?

That this instant lust soon after, jumped madly to ‘love’ when they barely knew each other apart from some hot and heavy looks, unresolved sexual tension and some medical emergencies had me gritting my teeth.

To be fair, aside from the over-the-top porny bits that made this book read more like erotica than high-octane suspense, there was a sort of decent plot in there…buried as it was under all the talk and thoughts of sex, which really seemed like the dominant theme of the story. I would have enjoyed this much more had the emotional aspects of Corrigan/Amy’s relationship been dwelled upon, instead of their mutual fixation on each other’s bits.

In all however, this was a disappointment, though it seems Newbury’s style is now entrenched in this pattern from the few books I’ve read of hers.

two-stars

Digging a Hole by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Digging a Hole by Mimi Jean PamfiloffDigging a Hole by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Series: OHellNo, #3
Published by Mimi Boutique on 19th June 2018
Pages: 173
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three-stars

HE’S THE MEANEST BOSS EVER.SHE’S THE SWEET SHY INTERN.THEY’RE ABOUT TO WRECK EACH OTHER CRAZY.

My name is Sydney Lucas. I am smart, deathly shy, and one-hundred percent determined to make my own way in the world. Which is why I jumped at the chance to intern for Mr. Nick Brooks despite his reputation. After ten failed interviews at other companies, he was the only one offering. Plus, everyone says he knows his stuff and surely a man as stunningly handsome as him can’t be “the devil incarnate,” right? Wrong.

Oh…that man. That freakin’ man has got to go! I’ve been on the job one week, and he’s insulted my mother, wardrobe shamed me, and managed to make me cry. Twice. Underneath that stone-cold, beautiful face is the evilest human being ever. But I’m not going to quit. Oh no. For once in my life, I’ve got to make a stand. Only every time I open my mouth, I can’t quite seem to muster the courage. Perhaps my revenge needs to come in another form: destroying him quietly.

Because I’ve got a secret. I’m not really just an intern, and Sydney Lucas isn’t my real name.

There’s always a bizarre lick to Mimi Jean Pamfiloff’s stories that I can’t seem to shake off each time I begin a book of hers. ‘Digging a Hole’ isn’t too different, where in alternating chapters, the flashback story of a crazy-arse tycoon tries to kidnap his own family and subject them to naked yoga is recounted. Add this to the general storyline of Georgie Walton/Sydney Lucas applying incognito for an internship within her family’s company under a mean, lean boss a few months later, the crazy does go a few notches up.

But I’ll admit that my challenge with a Pamfiloff read is always sifting the good from the insane. And as a large part of the story had to do with what happened a few months prior to Sydney/Georgie working for Nick, well, that bit came off as the least believable.

So needless to say, ‘Digging a Hole’ started off zany.

Georgie banked on the fact that she was invisible to people, without a fake identity or social security card—because it was glossed over. On the other hand, Nick Brooks had no sweet side. He abused, she cowered. He insulted, she cried, even if it was deliberate bullying as a test to see if she stood up for herself. But when all was finally untangled, their convoluted, complicated relationship merely showed the gap (in every sense of the word) between Georgie and Nick, especially the former’s naïveté and at-times juvenile behaviour, with some cringe-worthy scenes that I actually wished didn’t happen.

I did think that the characterisation of Georgie/Nick was shaky though, and them blowing hot and cold didn’t make it easy to get a grasp on either Georgie or Nick who seemed like 2 entirely different people by the time I was three-quarter way through the story.

The long and short of it is, if Pamfiloff dialled down the zany in her writing, I really think I could have liked this a lot more. Fiction obviously calls for the suspension of disbelief, but every Pamfiloff book that I’ve read swings back and forth between being absorbing and plain mad while aiming to keep a rom-com lightness to everything—just sometimes makes it impossible to do so. That she’s got some gems of insights, unexpected twists and some good ol’ writing for a solid plot cushioned in between made the book worth it for me, though I really wished these took centre stage instead of the over-the-top weirdness that hit me full-frontal.

Essentially, ‘Digging a Hole’ got good halfway through, as the odd bits finally, finally got left behind and the real thing kicked in, when the title finally made so much sense. I’m glad I pushed through to finish this.

three-stars

I Bet You by Ilsa Madden-Mills

I Bet You by Ilsa Madden-MillsI Bet You by Ilsa Madden-Mills
Series: The Hook Up #2
Published by CreateSpace, Createspace Independent Publishing Platform on 29th October 2018
Pages: 209
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two-stars

Sexy Athlete: I bet you…Penelope Graham: Burn in hell, quarterback.

The text is random but Penelope figures out exactly who “Sexy Athlete” is. And why she shouldn't take his wager.

Ryker Voss. Football star. Walks on water and God's gift to women.Just ask him.

His bet? He promises Penelope he’ll win her the heart of the guy she’s been crushing on. His plan—good old-fashioned jealousy. Once her crush sees her kissing Ryker, he'll realize what he's missing. Sounds legit, right? The only question is…why is Ryker being so nice to her?

Penelope Graham. Virgin. Lover of sparkly vampires and calculus. His mortal enemy.

Penelope knows she shouldn’t trust a jock, but what’s a girl to do when she needs a date to Homecoming? And Ryker’s keeping a secret, another bet, one that could destroy Penelope’s heart forever.

Will the quarterback score the good girl or will his secrets mean everyone loses this game of love?

‘I Bet You’ started off as a mixture of odd and affected, with the protagonists acting like they’ve been pretending at being something that they’re not at first. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but the high-school-type narrative—admittedly one that I wasn’t expecting at all—complete with the sorority/frat house bitch-testosterone kind of vibe was off-putting at first.

Then again, this is can probably be attributed to my growing wariness and intolerance of the N/A genre, particularly when hormonal characters are still driven by their lustful instincts, which I didn’t expect ‘I Bet You’ to be.

Add the virgin-player trope to it and I was questioning my decision to read this halfway through, but I pushed on because some reviews had suggested that this wasn’t a story that entirely stuck straight to stereotypes and an all-too-predictable ending.

Unfortunately, this didn’t fare all too well for me. Penelope at first glance, came off as flighty and insecure while trying to be spunky. Her somewhat archaic ideas coming from her bodice-ripper mind—losing her mind every single time Ryker came near, blowing hot and cold—felt even more out of place for a N/A virgin heroine who somehow managed to ensnare the usual manwhore quarterback (apparently 4 months of no-sex is a great accomplishment to laud), whose interest in someone-not-his-type seemed inexplicable.

Essentially, much of the entire book had to do with confusing game-playing (and not just in the field), hedging, chasing and pushing. What also felt like bits of the historical-romance genre sensibilities had crept into the story and threw me off quite badly because of how incongruous these were considering the college setting. By the end of it, I still found it hard to buy into a pairing which I thought could have ended up colouring outside the lines of these well-worn tropes but ultimately didn’t.

two-stars

Ache for You by J.T. Geissinger

Ache for You by J.T. GeissingerAche for You by J.T. Geissinger
Series: Slow Burn #3
Published by Montlake Romance on 6th November 2018
Pages: 362
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one-star

In this fairy tale with a sexy twist, she’s a penniless San Francisco seamstress. He’s the king of Italian couture. Who’s got designs on whom?

Boutique owner Kimber DiSanto has seen better days. She’s been dumped at the altar by Prince Charmless, her business went up in flames (literally), and now she’s stuck in Florence, Italy, with an ice-queen stepmother, to try to save her late father’s failing dress shop. Only one thing could make it worse: another man in her life. The arrogant Italian fashion tycoon offering to buy her father’s shop is as rich as he is sexy, and their attraction is off the charts. But Kimber’s not about to get burned again.

Women don’t say no to Matteo Moretti—and certainly not with Kimber’s stinging precision. With all the heat and fury sparking between them, Matteo can’t resist baiting the gorgeous American. His plan? Win her over one scorching kiss at a time.

Kimber tells herself it’s all just a game. That her broken heart isn’t in danger, and that Matteo’s touch does not make her Lady Land dance with joy. But sometimes it takes the fieriest of enemies to turn a fantasy into a real-life romance.

Down-on-her-luck Kimber—dumped by a wealthy fiancé at the altar—makes it to Italy, though not without more drama following her around, mostly in the form of another rich Italian tycoon. Only to realise that her dying father has remarried a calculative barracuda, left her with 2 stepsisters, and an evil stepmother.

If this rings familiar, that’s because ‘Ache for You’ is a Cinderella tale of sorts from riches to rags and riches again, only that it involves a truly unlikeable heroine and a mysterious Italian fashion magnate who somehow gets turned on by rudeness and a judgemental attitude.

Kimber’s tendency to overreact, her exaggerated hysteria and self-pity pouring through the pages from the start as she makes everything all about her and her misery had me wondering if I’d accidentally stumbled onto a bitchy reality series instead of a reconstructed fairytale romance. Gritting my teeth, I hoped it would get better as I read on but instead, it became more and more farcical to be believable. I just couldn’t get the connection between Kimber and Matteo—are sparks supposed to fly if the latter gets off on being verbally abused?

In essence, as much as fairytales are supposed to be much-beloved archetypes, I thought Geissinger’s own characters felt too ‘locked’ in their stereotypes (the rom-com, first person POV style of writing confirms this) to be anything more than caricatures flitting through the winding plot.

As much as I liked the first book in the series, which did actually seem promising, I’m unfortunately going to count this as a total bust for me: the signs couldn’t be clearer when I found myself simply more exasperated than enthralled just a quarter way through.

one-star