Tag: Eyeballs rolled into my head

Happy Hour by Piper Rayne

Happy Hour by Piper RayneHappy Hour by Piper Rayne
Series: Charity Case #3
Published by Amazon Digital Services, Amazon Publishing on 12th July 2018
Pages: 306
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The perfect man for her is the one she hates most. #gofigure

Dating is hard. Dating in your thirties is even harder. Dating in Chicago is harder still.

I haven't given up on finding my happily-ever-after, but in the age of swiping right and Netflix and chill, I'm wondering if everything is as temporary as my marriage turned out to be.

Truth is, there is one guy I can't get my mind off of.

Roarke Baldwin has salt and pepper hair I've dreamed of running my hands through and I'm pretty sure that if I checked he really does have a six pack of abs underneath his suit. And I've always wondered what that stubble on his face would feel like between my thighs.

The problem? He's the one man I hate more than my ex-husband…

His divorce attorney.

The enemies-to-lovers trope is one that I really like and ‘Happy Hour’ is one of the few that I wanted to get into if only to read how a woman falls head over heels over her divorce attorney—one who helped her ex-husband screw her over (monetarily, at least).

Still, the sparks between Roarke Baldwin and Hannah Crowley have been hinted at for a while now and ‘Happy Hour’ is a story of a lost venue, a grudging turn to a nemesis and the subsequent build of a relationship that one has been hankering after more than the other.

The subsequent 5 favours that Roarke asks of the gun-shy Hannah is sweet-amusing in some ways; they’re all non-sexual and non-demeaning, as part of the contract and it was by and large fun to see how Roarke desperately tries to manoeuvre Hannah to where he wants her. The journey onward is predictable as a result: the favours draw Hannah and Roarke together, catalysing what we as readers know and expect that it would all end up as time between the sheets. The conflict itself is just as inevitable nonetheless and it’s something that’s been done dime a dozen times—addressing Hannah’s skewed view of men, their purpose and the place they play in her life.

The conclusion proved unsatisfying as a result. I did think it was unfair of Hannah to write marriage off completely after her very first one, even to a man who’d gone to bat for her in the end because it seemed to show there were some obstacles that Roarke couldn’t overcome in her life still, this being one of them, so much so that it felt as though they were still living in a compromised state as long as Hannah didn’t open herself to that possibility once more.

In contrast, Roarke came off as the sweeter, more open and vulnerable of the two, unlike the corporate shark I thought him to be. Solely written in Hannah’s POV, thereby exposing all her thought-processes that turned neurotic and paranoid at times, I know I would have preferred a glimpse into Roarke’s mind as well, particularly what he’d been thinking ever since he stuck her with the 5-favour-contract.

Most of the time, it felt as though Roarke had an insurmountable mountain to climb when it came to Hannah (her idiotic and sometimes bitchy self-denials and her refusal to trust) and what made me hesitant about my own rating about this book was how Hannah used her her mistrust of men after her disastrous marriage to judge everyone else who comes after. That she knew and admitted it, yet acted stupidly about it, made me feel sorrier for Roarke’s efforts that were doomed to fail because of her insecurities.

So if ‘Happy Hour’ started happy for me, it degenerated into more eye-rolling as I read on, mostly because I was rooting for Hannah to rise above her past—to be that sort of heroine is the kind I ship—but never quite got it by the end of it all.

Firestorm by Rachel Grant

Firestorm by Rachel GrantFirestorm by Rachel Grant
Series: Flashpoint #3
Published by Janus Publishing on 10th July 2018
Pages: 300
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CIA covert operator Savannah James is after intel on a potential coup in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but she needs a partner fluent in Lingala to infiltrate the organization. Sergeant First Class Cassius Callahan is the perfect choice, except he doesn’t like her very much. He doesn’t trust her, either, despite the sparks that flare between them, fierce and hot. Still, he accepts the assignment even though their cover requires Savvy to pose as his mistress.

They enter battle-worn Congo to expose the financing for the coup. A trail of cobalt, gold, and diamonds leads them into the heart of a jungle in which everyone is desperate to find the mother lode of ore and gems. Betrayal stalks them as they follow the money, but Savvy will stop at nothing to bring down the would-be dictator before he can ignite a firestorm that will engulf all of Africa.

Deep in the sultry rainforest, spy and Green Beret forge a relationship more precious than diamonds, but Cal knows Savvy is willing to sacrifice anything—or anyone—to complete her mission. As they near the flashpoint, Cal will have to save her from the greatest threat of all: herself.

Start a Rachel Grant book and it’s a sure-thing to surface only a few days later. It’s that intricate, that complex and that impossible to breeze through because of the details and the twists and turns that slowly come into play despite the deceptively simple beginning. A light-hearted read this isn’t, but ‘Firestorm’, like every other Grant read, always muscles in on the romantic suspense genre with a lot of audacious aplomb.

That kind of daring comes in from the beginning with Savannah James and Cassius Callahan going undercover, though the trajectory of the storytelling doesn’t stay in a direction you’d expect. There’re hooked roads, forked paths and unforeseen obstacles that constantly throw wrenches in the good ol’ plot, which makes ‘Firestorm’ and all-round absorbing ride. But beneath that, there are also gut-churning and tooth-rottingly salacious details revolving around exploitative sex, violence and mega-money deals in a hot zone in Africa—all of which Cal and Savvy try to uncover without compromising themselves—that can be difficult to power through.

Still, betrayals and disavowals are par for the course, and it’s akin to hopscotching blindfolded in a minefield. The lack of full disclosure, the deception and lies (whether necessary or not), tend to be one of my pet-peeves in such romances nonetheless. ‘The mission above all’ as mantra and the prolonged double-crossing that inevitably destroys a relationship account for what I’ve always thought of as the biggest failings in such stories. There are a few instances of that here, unsurprisingly as it is, when it comes down to spooks justifying their belief that the ends justify the means. That said, it makes for interesting, though not always enjoyable friction and conflict between Cal and Savvy.

In contrast to Cal’s open-book demeanour however, I was itching to unravel Savannah, or at least get to the real person behind the mission-above-all heartless character who’s seemingly been nothing more than a compassionless automaton in the first few books of this series. What I wasn’t prepared for was a tragic backstory to emerge, and one that should be uncomfortably close to women who’ve tried to rise in their careers. It isn’t to say there aren’t eye-rolling TSTL moments—like the stunt she pulls towards the end, which made me think that trust was still an issue, not to mention the stupid (and wrong) belief of doing even stupider things to in a self-sacrificing way that typically gets old and annoying.

As I’d initially expected, ‘Firestorm’ is a longer read than most typical romance-length books. Beyond the characters and the thrilling storyline, Grant takes her time laying out the context of the Central African region to the point where parts of the story feel like a anthropological documentary embedded into the rush of adventure…and for that alone, it’s not hard to consider ‘Firestorm’ a fantastic (and quite possibly, the best) addition to the series.

Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren

Josh and Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating by Christina LaurenJosh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren
Published by Gallery Books on 4th September 2018
Pages: 320
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two-stars

Hazel Camille Bradford knows she’s a lot to take—and frankly, most men aren’t up to the challenge. If her army of pets and thrill for the absurd don’t send them running, her lack of filter means she’ll say exactly the wrong thing in a delicate moment. Their loss. She’s a good soul in search of honest fun.

Josh Im has known Hazel since college, where her zany playfulness proved completely incompatible with his mellow restraint. From the first night they met—when she gracelessly threw up on his shoes—to when she sent him an unintelligible email while in a post-surgical haze, Josh has always thought of Hazel more as a spectacle than a peer. But now, ten years later, after a cheating girlfriend has turned his life upside down, going out with Hazel is a breath of fresh air.

Not that Josh and Hazel date. At least, not each other. Because setting each other up on progressively terrible double blind dates means there’s nothing between them...right?

Josh and Hazel are apparently undateable together—that much power-writing duo Christina Lauren wants to bring across. But the irony is that they are never better matched despite their opposite ways, as the story trundles on. Both go on blind double dates (mostly disasters), get on as good friends (loads of banter and nonsense talk), then finally realise that they do actually belong together.

After having quite a good time with a few of this duo’s books, jumping into Lauren’s ‘Josh & Hazel’s Guide to Not Dating’ was something I eagerly did…that is, until the very first chapter caught me out with the antics of a female protagonist I had a bad feeling about.

There’s no other way for me to say this, but I simply found Hazel cringe-worthy. At least, there’s the part where the adorable, bumbling fool kind of woman would probably find purchase with many readers because it’s so obvious how flawed she is. Unfortunately, she simply read like a protagonist who couldn’t grow up and stayed that way so as to become as a plot device mirroring the loud, clueless millennial—as reported about with derision in the newspapers these days—who stumbles over everything and says whatever her mouth decides to say without engaging her brain.

But unlike Bridget Jones, she appears fully formed, owns her quirks, and pretty much heads the movement for how women should be themselves (and proud of it for going through men, not wanting commitment) without changing for anyone…which is a good thing right?

Um.

For me, it was too much, too hard, too affected because it felt like the authors were trying too hard to make her the kind of woman who’s just like a commitment-phobic male protagonist unable to hold a relationship. Written as larger than life because it’s fiction and drawn up so deliberately like a character in a sitcom or as a mirror of this kind of male hero, Hazel simply made me sigh in resignation and not in a good way.

Unlike the usual style of Lauren’s that compelled me to read what this writing duo has done so far—the first person narrative, the huge touch of the insane in this romcom—this book started as a rough ride for me, oddly so because of its very lighthearted feel that just didn’t leave me clutching my sides in laughter. It did get somewhat better as Josh and Hazel find their groove together first as good friends, but I couldn’t really hold an interest in a book where the protagonists obliquely get closer together while dating others.

In short, it’s a story that will appeal to many, but it isn’t one for me.

two-stars

Break Your Heart by Tracey Alvarez

Break Your Heart by Tracey AlvarezBreak Your Heart by Tracey Alvarez
Series: Bounty Bay, #5
Published by Icon Publishing on 15th June 2018
Pages: 227
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two-stars

Fake girlfriend. Real sizzle. What could possibly go wrong?

Sam Ngata has the talent of creating something out of almost nothing in his successful wood carving business, Kauri Whare. That talent doesn’t extend to producing a serious girlfriend out of nowhere when he implies to a huge overseas investor that he’s a one-woman kind of man. Big on domestic bliss and honesty, the investor is due to arrive in less than ten days time with a deal that’d provide Sam’s family-operated business with invaluable future security. Now Sam just has to find a woman willing to fake it until they make it — the deal, that is — with no strings attached.

Single mum Vee Sullivan needs a man in her life like a flightless kiwi bird needs wings to soar. She has a precocious little girl to provide for and she’s in the middle of expanding her clothing business — with an eye on Kauri Whare’s newest retail space. Unfortunately, it’d take a small miracle for her to afford the lease. So when childhood crush, Sam, offers her a one week only role of pretending to be his ‘serious’ girlfriend in exchange for three months waived lease, Vee is sorely tempted. But saying yes to fake girlfriend means she might not be able to say no to real passion. Someone’s going to get their heart broken…

Surfer-dude-player-slash-artisan badly needs to convince an overseas investor to get his business made. Cue the fake girlfriend (who so happens as well to be a childhood acquaintance that didn’t exactly run in his circles) to help project a wholesome reputation that’s so far from what he’s been. Add the dog and the child as well, since the fake girlfriend just so happens to be a single mum who is so far from his regular hookups. And of course, it all goes sideways towards the end, forcing this farce out into the light.
I was a little hesitant when I saw the direction in which Tracey Alvarez was going to take Sam Ngata’s story, but Alvarez’s writing is one that I always come back to, so it was with some apprehension that I dove into this book.
But after the high of Isaac’s book which I loved to bits, ‘Break Your Heart’ sadly, brought me to a new low. While I loved all the descriptions of the Kiwi landscape, I didn’t quite enjoy this as much as Sam’s brother’s (Isaac) story, since it felt a little more clichéd-driven (though there’s plenty of heat and lust which somehow get mistaken for falling in love) and more of a playing-to-stereotypes kind of read with the player, non-committal bachelor suddenly looking for a fake girlfriend for his business to perk up.
I thought Sam was too cocky, too full of himself—a veneer that he didn’t quite seem to shrug off anyway—while Vee simply sought to protect her daughter and her own heart. The admission that he’d hooked up with every girl but her because he wanted her so much over the years was simply an explanation I couldn’t and wouldn’t buy into in any case; most of all, it simply painted Sam in an awful and hypocritical light, period. How could he have always wanted her when they’d moved in different circles anyway? And then, saying that he’s always been hers, always wanted her when he’s gone around with other women in sight for decades?
What made this a particularly hard review to write was this pervading sense of disappointment (and some disgust) that I was left with after finishing an Alvarez book, more so because I typically do like what she writes: the style and her obvious love for her country make Alvarez that kind of stand-out author. But ‘Break Your Heart’ trod repeatedly on my triggers and left me foaming at the mouth despite the jaunty writing that Alvarez is known for and it became a book that I couldn’t wait to forget. Admittedly, this is all me, though, and my review is most likely one that will be the anomaly.
two-stars

I Think I Love You by Lauren Layne

I Think I Love You by Lauren LayneI Think I Love You by Lauren Layne
Series: Oxford #5
Published by Loveswept on 17th July 2018
Pages: 184
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three-stars

Brit Robbins knows that dating in New York City is hard—she just hoped to have it mastered by age thirty. But after yet another promising suitor says they have no sparks, Brit decides it’s time to torch her dating game and try a new plan. And who better to coach Brit through the art of seduction than the guy who first gave her the “let’s be friends” card?

Hunter Cross has always figured there’s nothing his best friend Brit can do to surprise him. But Brit’s request is a surprise he doesn’t see coming—and one he’s definitely not prepared for. Hunter and Brit have always been careful to keep things perfectly platonic, but the fake dates and faux flirting are starting to feel like the real deal. And soon Hunter realizes he has taught Brit too well. Not only has she become an expert at seduction, the man becoming thoroughly seduced is him.

‘I Think I Love You’ feels like the true end to Lauren Layne’s Oxford series, a not quite full-length tale of the last standing couple, who don’t even know they’re meant to be paired with…yet. Layne tackles the friends-to-lovers trope here and straightaway, I knew it would be a tricky one with questions that needed to be answered—questions that this trope always seems to invite for the pairing to be a believable and satisfying one.

Brit and Hunter slide in somewhere later in the Oxford series as best friends, and as boss and subordinate, whose status-quo hasn’t changed in years, until Brit stirs the waters by adding a particularly farcical element in the setup which, according to Layne, has the power to change everything they know about each other. As a plot device that sets the action and the romance on a predictable path, Brit’s apparent seduction tutoring works all too well. So the story goes.

It inevitably goes sideways and it isn’t a surprise to see Hunter screwing up colossally, but what is frustrating is his not doing enough to make up for it and Brit being too soft-hearted about it. With the abrupt conclusion however, there isn’t a chance to see Hunter fighting for a relationship with Brit, which I knew I needed to read after the way he’s waffled too much in his manly cowardice. In other words, the grovelling hardly matches the crime.

I was actually more interested in the implications of this trope and how Layne would tackle the explanation of the sudden flip in the switch in their relationship when years of never looking at each other ‘that way’ were thrown to the wind—because this would probably justify the validity (which I can’t quite blindly accept as timing, serendipity or the sudden realisation of scales falling from eyes) so to speak, of best friends becoming lovers. How does a seduction plan inexplicably turn Hunter into looking at Brit from a platonic friend into someone else? There’s a suggestion here that a platonic friendship perpetually hangs on a knife’s edge, needing merely the slightest thing for it to tip over into a different space, so would that have meant that Hunter and Brit would never have crossed any line had Brit not taken the first step?

The long and short is, I’m not entirely sure if I’m quite convinced about this trope still. It’s probably cynicism speaking here nonetheless and that Layne chooses to tackle this once again isn’t surprising seeing how often it appears in her books. I do think Hunter and Brit do ultimately belong together—best friends can and do make good lovers—only that I had hoped for a more solid grounding for them becoming a couple other than sudden, forced proximity with all the talk of dating and seduction giving them the orgasmic shivers.

As far as it goes, my wistfulness with finishing this series probably has to do with my introduction to Layne via Penelope/Cole, whose story started my going down the Oxford rabbit hole. I loved seeing the rest of the Oxford crew even if some stories worked better than others for me, and with all the series I’ve gone through, I had hoped this one ended more on a bang for me.

three-stars

Down With Love by Kate Meader

Down With Love by Kate MeaderDown with Love by Kate Meader
Series: Love Wars, #1
Published by Loveswept on 7th August 2018
Pages: 237
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two-stars

Sparks fly when the hot-shot divorce lawyer meets the high-powered wedding planner. The only question is, what kind?

If you ever get married, remember my name: Max Henderson. In my line of work, you acquire a certain perspective on supposedly everlasting unions. . . .

1. Pre-nups are your friend. 2. The person you married is not the person you’re divorcing. 3. And I hope you didn’t spend much on the wedding because that was one helluva waste of hard-earned cash, wasn’t it?

But some guys are willing to take a chance. Like my brother, who thinks he’s going to ride off into the sunset with the woman of his dreams in a haze of glitter on unicorns. And the wedding planner—the green-eyed beauty who makes a living convincing suckers to shell out thousands of dollars on centerpieces—is raking it in on this matrimonial monstrosity.

The thing is, Charlie Love is not unlike me. We’re both cogs in the wedding-industrial complex. As the best man, I know her game—and I can play it better than her. But after one scorching, unexpected kiss, I’m thinking I might just want to get played.

Wedding-planner, come meet the divorce lawyer: 2 occupations at odds with each other, down to the fundamental beliefs that the people working in these lines should hold. Right? ‘Down with Love’ is where Kate Meader bravely tackles these opposites and tries to prove the contrary with Max Henderson (the first victim, so to speak) and Charlie Love—whose last name is ironically appropriate for her occupation.

Excited as I was by Meader’s blurb of this new series, I was also a little wary, because beneath it lies the stereotypical trope of a commitment phobic player paired with a woman who tries to be sassy and stumbles when the charm comes out. And with Meader’s style of writing, I can say—objectively—that it’s perfectly tailored for the rom-com style that many readers would expect. Meader’s writing is pitched exactly like the voices you hear in romantic comedy, that is, pitch-perfect, if that’s your sort of thing, in other words. That much, it delivers.

Max Henderson kicks of the start of Kate Meader’s new series of cynical men who think they’ve seen the worst of humanity in the battlefield of court when divorce inevitably hits couples. But I think the male POV is tricky to write, period. Getting the fine balance right between voice, hints of vulnerability and the cocky front that many authors try to portray of their alpha males who apparently know so much about women is one that either has me grimacing or smirking. The usual smug, self-satisfied, arrogant tone of Max crosses the line into bar-smarmy faux smoothness and sleazy bad taste and it isn’t frankly something I want to read of a male romantic protagonist who’s head seems to be constantly filled with women’s body parts and what he’d like to do to them. (Here, I’m reminded of another author who’s done the same previously and it isn’t that good a memory, sad to say.)

But because many rom-coms are retellings and rehashes of tropes with varying contexts, character histories and storytelling styles, ‘Down With love’ still feels at its core, one that doesn’t deviate too much from the well-worn but well-loved formula: a woman who finally gives the cynical Max what he’s always fed other women (nothing beyond a night or two) and then it’s the typical reversal of him finally getting a taste of his own medicine just as he realises she’s unlike the others. Cue the game to wear her resistance down, thanks to the perpetual player, no-one-gets-hurt reputation Max strives to cultivate in the first place.

There are a few bits of talking ‘out’ to the reader as well—better known as breaking the fourth wall here, when a character steps out of the fictional word briefly and breaks through the invisible wall separating reader and the cast—and I’m not too sure how I feel about that here. Perhaps Meader seeks to bridge that connection between Max and me when the use of the second person pronoun ‘you’ seems to…mediate this distance that I subconsciously hold, first to convince me that he’s anti-marriage and then later, to convince me that he’s a reformed man. Or perhaps I’m just over-reading this.

In short, I think I wasn’t really feeling this at all sadly—not the pairing, not the context and not the plot. ‘Down With Love’ didn’t exactly move me much even as Meader tries to work out the opposing beliefs of Max and Charlie, and given the many times I managed to walk away and came back to the book (rinse and repeat) it’s clear this isn’t the story for me, as much as I really like Meader’s writing.

two-stars

Falling For Mr. Slater by Kendall Day

Falling For Mr. Slater by Kendall DayFalling for Mr. Slater by Kendall Day
Published by Howling Mad Press on 23rd May 2018
Pages: 305
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one-star

He was the worst teacher I ever had. I was the worst student he ever taught.

ROXIE RAMBLING

I can’t believe I’m standing on the steps of Bracken Middle School again.

Ten years ago, this place was my worst nightmare, no thanks to Jack “McSlutbag” Slater, the teacher who blocked my shot at a full basketball scholarship. But time heals many wounds, and I’m only a few months away from earning my undergrad in education, despite the hell Slater once put me through.

Now I’m the teacher. I’ll help kids rather than destroy them. If I can just get through this semester without too many fouls, I’ll be fine.

But it’s not fine. Because when I go to meet my new supervisor, McSlutbag’s sitting behind the desk, looking like a gorgeous, vengeful god ready to mete out punishment for slights—some real, most perceived—committed by the hellion I used to be.

Worse? The cold hatred I once felt for him has turned hot enough to set my drawers on fire.

I want him. In a bad way.

So long, dream internship. Hello, sexy nemesis.

McSlutbag’s about to meet his match. Again.

Scandal, teachers straining at their leashes and all the dirty things beneath the buttoned-up collars in middle school. Well then. Kendall Day’s ‘Falling For Mr. Slater’ sounded like one of those enemies-to-lovers romance that I’d love to have gotten my hands on. Written around a student-teacher type of relationship, I was well, sold by the attractive blurb, up until the opening lines of the story that made me want to toss it in immediately.

But apparently, to add spice to a teacher-student romance is to get a manwhore-teacher who goes around bagging women and brags about it during a summer screwfest pair up with his greatest nightmare of a student, all the while conveniently blaming his damaged mentality on commitment on said character. Really?

But I guessed the nickname ‘McSlutbag’ should have given me a clue to what a prick this male protagonist could be, because the teachers I know (and I’ve been there myself personally a long time ago in a galaxy far away) just don’t behave that way—they’re simply stressed about everything both in and out of the classroom.

Whatever free time they have is spent on a hurried vacation being stressed about other things and I’m sure teachers separate their scandalous private lives from their professional ones, though there’s seldom a clear line drawn because the latter often spills into the former.

And the talk about McSlutbag’s former student’s ‘gorgeous’ body in crude terms? I cringed and cringed (hits close to home as well, considering there was a case like this this I’ve seen that brought serious consequences). On the flip side, Roxie-moxie is the equivalent of McSlutbag, only a decade behind in terms of professional experience. Everything else, she’s done it and is only slightly none the wiser about this.

Written as a rom-com, ‘Falling For Mr. Slater’ did feel as though typical archetypes of romance protagonists were simply forced into the teacher and student roles and Jack Slater and Roxie Rambling do fit in those to a ’T’. The thought of a bad-girl student to rock Slater’s expectations and what they’ve apparently done to each other in the past kept me plodding on—for a chapter or two more before I simply stopped reading because I objected to pretty much everything.

At this point, it’s probably best to leave it at ‘it’s not you, it’s me’.

one-star